Goldie Hawn says relationships aren’t about going overboard.

In fact, after more than 40 years with partner Kurt Russell, she says there’s one key element to building a successful, long-term relationship.

“You have to have good sex,” she exclusively told E! News Sept. 27 at her Love-In Gala in celebration of the 20th Anniversary of The Goldie Hawn Foundation and MindUP. “Because sex is something that connects you and creates more belonging. People who have healthy sexual relationships usually last a lot longer. But it’s not just because of the act, it’s because of the warmth and the intimacy that it creates.”

Plus, she joked, “You have to be nice to each other upon occasion.” (For more from the Love-In Gala, tune into E! News tonight, Sept. 30.)

But the truth is, being with someone for so many decades is no small feat, and Goldie—who shares son Wyatt Russell with Kurt in addition to kids Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson from her second marriage—also detailed the importance of remembering that, at the end of the day, there are still two individual people in a relationship.

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