DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve been invited to join a reality TV show that focuses on finding a significant other. I jokingly submitted an application last summer, and now it’s become a reality!
It’s an incredible opportunity for personal growth and exposure, but I’m feeling anxious about how it will affect my private life and relationships.
As someone who’s quite shy, I’m worried about handling the attention and scrutiny from family, friends and colleagues, especially when it comes to returning to work afterward.
How do you think I should proceed?
— Reality TV Decision
DEAR REALITY TV DECISION: You already know from having watched this type of TV show that the producers push contestants to the limits and often stage things to make people appear to be in compromising positions.
I’m not sure that you can control whether that will happen to you, so you have to decide what you are willing to do and whether it is worth compromising your privacy and possibly your integrity.
As you have seen on these shows, some people bow out when the line is crossed for them — whatever that may mean. If you can make it clear what you are willing — and unwilling — to do and think through the consequences of what may happen, you can make an informed decision about whether to participate.
What others think about your involvement will vary. What’s most important is whether you can live with your decision. After that, it will simply be defending your choice to whoever may challenge you.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I started gardening as a way to unwind and connect with nature, and I’ve been loving it. However, it seems my enthusiasm might be causing some issues with my neighbors.
They’ve mentioned that the noise from my gardening tools and the mess from soil and plant debris are becoming a problem for them.
I truly find peace in this hobby and don’t want to give it up, but I also don’t want to create discomfort in my community. I’m trying to balance my enjoyment with being a good neighbor.
What are some ways I can continue my gardening activities while addressing their concerns? Should I adjust the times I garden?
— Gardening Neighbor Trouble
DEAR GARDENING NEIGHBOR TROUBLE: You are wise to consider how to enjoy your hobby and keep peace with your neighbors.
Yes, you should adjust your gardening times, preferably to hours when most people are awake so that the noise doesn’t impact their sleep. If your neighbors enjoy eating outside, do your best not to garden at mealtimes, at least not if you have to use loud tools.
You also say they complain about the mess. Commit to being a tidy gardener. Clean up after yourself. Make sure your lawn always looks presentable. Don’t leave debris on the sidewalk or anywhere within view.
By making an effort to address their concerns and reassuring them that you are doing so, you may be able to calm their concerns.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.