A husband’s demand of his pregnant wife for a paternity test has drawn widespread condemnation on Reddit.
A post by u/p1nkribbon to the AmIThe A****** sub has gone viral after the original poster shared that her husband demanded a paternity test following a surprise pregnancy. His implication that she was cheating made her angry, prompting her to ask Redditors whether she was justified in retaliating by telling him she didn’t want children with a partner who doesn’t trust her.
Newsweek spoke to Kristie Tse, a licensed mental health counselor, about the larger dynamics that might be at play in the couple’s relationship.
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In the post, the OP, a 26-year-old woman, shared that she had been married to her husband for just over a year when she discovered she was pregnant. Although the pregnancy wasn’t planned, she said she was excited to share the news with her husband.
Rather than sharing in her happiness, though, the husband became upset and questioned how she could be pregnant, despite the fact that they had regularly engaged in unprotected sex. He demanded a paternity test, accusing her of infidelity without any basis. Shocked and hurt by his lack of trust, the two got into a heated argument.
“He said that I wasn’t helping my case, and that if I had nothing to hide, then I would take the test and prove my loyalty to him,” OP wrote. “I told him I couldn’t believe he was seriously asking me for that…If you’re doubting me and my loyalty so much that you think I cheated on you, then I don’t think I want a baby with you anymore.”
While OP ultimately agreed to take the paternity test, she said the couple hadn’t spoken since the argument. She turned to Reddit for advice, asking if she was wrong for saying she no longer wanted a baby with her husband.
Support from Redditors
The post quickly gained traction, with many users supporting her reaction, criticizing her husband’s actions—and reading into his accusations for potential clues.
“I’m not saying he’s definitely cheating, but people who cheat are pretty likely to project onto their partners and accuse them of cheating, out of guilt or whatever,” u/helpful-treefrog wrote. “Unless you two get some significant couples therapy, why would you stay with someone who believes you’re cheating on him?”
“If he’s not cheating, it’s 100 percent because he’s an absolute moron and doesn’t know how menstrual cycles work,” emeraldcrypt2 wrote.
One person questioned the OP’s husband’s “neutral” stance on having children, given the couple’s regular unprotected sex: “I do not understand why someone ‘neutral’ about kids would be actively trying for a baby by having regular unprotected sex with someone they know wants kids,” u/Ybuzz wrote.
An expert on trust and communication
Kristie Tse, a licensed mental health counselor specializing in relationship conflict and emotional well-being, weighed in on the situation, telling Newsweek that the woman’s hurt and outrage were valid.
“The woman’s reaction to her husband’s demand for a paternity test is deeply tied to the trust within their relationship,” Tse said. “Her outrage likely stems from feeling accused of something as serious as infidelity, which undermines the trust they’ve built.”
Tse said that the OP’s husband’s sudden demand for a paternity test may reflect deeper insecurities or unresolved concerns about parenthood and the state of their relationship.
“In situations like this, the accusation of infidelity can damage the emotional foundation of a relationship. The husband’s demand may indicate deeper feelings of uncertainty or mistrust that should have been addressed earlier through open conversations,” she said.
Ultimately, she emphasized how important it was for the couple to address trust issues before welcoming a child into the world: “Both partners could have benefitted from more open conversations about their emotional readiness for parenthood and trust in each other’s commitment.”
Tse recommended couples therapy as a potential path forward, but noted that healing from this level of mistrust would require significant effort from both sides. Whether the couple can reconcile their differences and rebuild their trust remains to be seen, but one thing is certain—Reddit users definitely fall on OP’s side.
Newsweek reached out to u/p1nkribbon for comment via Reddit.