“Do I have a choice?!”: The cruelty and betrayal of “The Bachelorette” finale

The problematic “Bachelor” franchise is well-known for overusing the word “dramatic.” It’s “the most dramatic rose ceremony” or “the most dramatic season ever.” But in the case of Monday’s finale of “The Bachelorette,” that word truly applies. 

We wish it didn’t.

The problem isn’t just that Jenn Tran doesn’t get her fairy-tale ending, but that the live finale broadcast is orchestrated to amplify her agony for entertainment. The show begins as many others have, with host Jesse Palmer in front of a live studio audience – including rejected “Bachelorette” suitors and new Golden Bachelorette Joan Vassos – gathered to watch which of two men would propose to Jenn Tran, the first Asian American lead in the franchise’s history. It’s down to military veteran Marcus Shoberg and freight company owner Devin Strader.

The audience watches as the men meet Jenn’s family, with Devin saying all the right things, and Marcus expressing his doubts about his love for Jenn. Her final date with Devin in Hawaii appears meaningful as they do a ceremony to clear their past burdens so they can join their futures together. Devin even gives her something he received from a Maori shaman during their first one-on-one date in New Zealand. All good.

Unfortunately, Marcus still shows some ambivalence, and Jenn confronts him in a painful conversation. Although Marcus finally admits that he loves her, it’s too little, too late. She rejects him; there’s no final date. It appears she’s made her choice, and this is solidified when she tells Jesse later that she plans to propose to Devin. This not only fulfills what the show has been teasing all season – that Jenn would do something no other Bachelorette has done before – but also Jenn’s insistence that she take control of her relationships and not passively allow a man to call the shots.

And then things get messy . . . well, messier.

Jenn Tran and Devin Strader on “The Bachelorette” (Disney/John Fleenor)Just when we expect to see Jenn make her historic (for the franchise) proposal, Jesse interjects and tells the audience, “You won’t be seeing the proposal. Because of what transpired that day in Hawaii, we decided it wouldn’t be appropriate for anyone to see it until we heard from Jenn.”

Jenn bursts into inconsolable tears and reveals that her fairy-tale romance with her fiancé Devin has turned into a nightmare. Devin spent the entire season promising her that he would never abandon her the same way both their parents did to them. Unfortunately for Jenn, Devin’s promises are as empty as “The Bachelor” franchise’s countless attempts to spearhead change by diversifying its leads. Right before the couple went on a secret getaway together, she says Devin called her to break up, saying he regretted their engagement because he no longer loved her.

In a deeply uncomfortable conversation, Jenn and Devin try to hash it out but end up nowhere productive. Jenn accuses Devin of following girls on Instagram after their breakup, namely last year’s “The Bachelor” fan favorite Maria Georgas. He stumbles in his response with the textbook, “I’m not here to tell you you can’t feel the way you feel. Obviously, I failed you.” He scoffs at her when she accuses him of not taking their breakup seriously, opting to go clubbing with his castmates instead.

Ultimately, Jenn’s composure breaks and she says, “Every Monday night my heart is broken over and over again, whereas you don’t give a crap. You’re posting about the show having a great ole time and I am heartbroken every Monday night watching the lies.”

Jesse interrupts the back-and-forth between the couple to get them on track so he can pull the worst move yet – to air the unseen proposal for Jenn to watch while on the live show. The host stresses to a whimpering Jenn that in that scene she showed America “what a strong and powerful woman is.” He adds, “Nobody can ever take that away from you. I know you haven’t seen it yet. What do you think? Should we all watch it together?”

With tears still in her puffy eyes, Jenn incredulously shakes her head. She laughs awkwardly and says in disbelief, “Do I have a choice?” Of course, she has no choice. Her pain is up for consumption and entertainment. The powers that be are retconning her story in real time as if it’s a tale of empowerment.

Using picture-in-picture, ABC plays the proposal while the audience watches Jenn relive one of the most painful moments in her life — yet another heartbreak. She sobs and sobs — and it’s utterly merciless. 

Jenn Tran on “The Bachelorette” (Disney/John Fleenor)Being the author of pain isn’t new for “The Bachelor” franchise though. During Rachel Lindsay‘s season, they allowed a person with a racist social media history in as a suitor. In Matt James’ season, they forced him to have an uncomfortable conversation with his absent Black father on screen. In a scene that will go down in “Bachelor” history, the show also filmed the heart-wrenching, post-season breakup between the engaged Arie Luyendyk Jr. and Becca Kufrin. At the time, ABC claimed the scene was “the first completely unedited scene in reality television history” – as if it’s something to be proud of. 

To be fair, anyone getting involved with Bachelor Nation – be it contestant or audience member watching from home – knows that heartache or a bit of train-wreck messiness is part of the package. There’s no way to have a competition for love without someone getting hurt. However, usually the affianced couple can stick it out long enough to break up in private once the show is completely done. Rarely does the split occur before the finale.

Perhaps “The Bachelorette” had learned a little from the Arie-Becca backlash since Devin had conducted his breakup by phone, not on camera. Small favors. Having Jenn watch her giddy proposal to Devin live, however, was not just brutal, but baffling. Even if the series was contractually obligated to show that scene – maybe deals with the jeweler or even Hawaii tourism necessitated its airing – Jenn did not have to be present. She could have been let go to lick her wounds backstage with her loved ones for support. Therefore, it was a deliberate decision to cause and then televise the sinister spectacle of Jenn’s pain and suffering. This is the ultimate in sadistic showbiz.

As with most reality shows, audiences like to label who the show’s villains are. Earlier it had seemed that suitor Sam M. – who tried to “keep the main thing the main thing” – had a lock on the title. Then Devin came along with what appears to be the longest con of all. But neither one should claim that cruelty crown. Instead, that biggest betrayal of all lays at ABC’s feet. 

Throughout the season, one of Jenn’s stated main goals is to take control of her story. She’s had enough of toxic, gaslighting exes, thank you very much. It’s also one of the reasons why she proposed to Devin. However, Jesse asking if she’s ready to watch her romantic proposal scene is the height of vicious farce. Even her media training can’t stop her from finally losing composure. As she practically wails, “Do I have a choice?!” it’s clear that she was never calling the shots. “The Bachelor” machine was and always has been in charge of her narrative, for the most dramatic betrayal ever. How’s that for gaslighting?