You might remember the monologue in “Pulp Fiction,” when John Travolta’s Vincent explains Amsterdam’s marijuana laws to Samuel L. Jackson’s Jules:
“It’s legal, but it ain’t a hundred percent legal. …It’s legal to buy it, it’s legal to own it, and if you’re the proprietor of a hash bar, it’s legal to sell it. It’s illegal to carry it, but that doesn’t really matter … cuz if you get stopped by the cops in Amsterdam, it’s illegal for them to search you.”
As we learn in the timely and debate-stirring “Untold: Sign Stealer” on Netflix, the NCAA rules about swiping your opponent’s signals were basically the football version of the laws laid out in Vincent’s monologue: precise, but also just a tad ridiculous. Arriving just in time for the college football season, the latest episode of the excellent “Untold” documentary series is a deep dive into the sign-stealing scandal at Michigan University. For the first time, Connor Stalions speaks in great detail about being the central figure in the controversy, and it makes for fascinating viewing.
The documentary lays out the facts in a journalistically sound manner, and the interviews with some the key players in the story are insightful and illuminating, giving both sides of the argument a whole new playbook of ammunition to make their case. (Spoiler alert: Jim Harbaugh, now the coach of the Los Angeles Chargers, did not participate. You’d have a better chance of getting him to don Ohio State colors to chant “O-H!” in hopes of hearing an “I-O!”)
Director Micah Brown and his team include a bounty of archival footage, interviews with a host of top-tier journalists as well as friends and associates and family members of Stalions — but this meme-friendly, sometimes convoluted and darkly funny story is told primarily through the viewpoint of the sign stealer himself. Stalions was a diehard Michigan fan from the moment he could say “Hail! To the victors valiant” and aspired to become a coach by the time he was a teenager. “When I was in high school, I began to research coaching,” says Stalions, “and 15 of the top coaches of all time … served in the military. That’s why I began to pursue the Naval Academy.”
Stalions was a student coach at the U.S. Naval Academy, where he first started deciphering opponents’ signals. He eventually joined Michigan’s staff as a low-level, unpaid volunteer and started working his way up the ladder as he devoted nearly every waking moment to immersing himself in the culture of college football intelligence operations. “I recorded myself doing probably two to three thousand signals,” says Stalions, who says he memorized every single picture and created an extensive database that became known as his manifesto, and that’s truly impressive and also kind of bonkers.
“Connor has a mind that is almost like a ‘Rain Man’-ish kind of thing,” notes his father, Brock.
By 2021, Stalions was a paid staffer. In 2022, his sign-stealing skills were so appreciated that he was awarded a game ball after Michigan beat Iowa.
Which brings us to why I was reminded of that “Pulp Fiction” monologue. According to NCAA rules, it breaks down like this:
You can decode signals from a TV broadcast.
You can decode signals from watching game film.
You can learn about a team’s signals by gathering information from someone whose team had played that team two weeks ago.
What you cannot do is any kind of advanced, IN-PERSON scouting of signals.
That seems … inconsistent. Why does that last practice cross the line? Is it really that much more egregious than all the other methods of sign-stealing? After all, it’s called sign STEALING. It’s all a bit shady.
Deep into the 2023 season, with the Wolverines eyeing a national championship, news reports said Stalions had paid Michigan operatives to attend games of upcoming Michigan opponents so they could videotape opposing coaches. Not long after, we saw the infamous visuals showing someone purported to be Stalions in disguise on the sidelines at a Central Michigan game.
“I don’t even think this guy looks like me,” says Stalions as he holds up a picture of Sidelines Man. Uh-huh.
“Untold: Sign Stealer” takes us through the next steps of the scandal, which remains an open NCAA investigation. Stalions left a paper and digital trail of his numerous purchases of tickets on or near the 50-yard line for games — tickets he would then send to friends and associates. Stalions was suspended with pay, and eventually left the program. Linebackers coach Chris Partridge was fired. Harbaugh was suspended for three games, though the NCAA reported finding no direct connection between Harbaugh and the sign-stealing. An undeniably great Michigan team was accused by many of cheating to gain an unfair advantage. (My two cents: They would have won the whole thing anyway.)
Stalions became a viral “star” and went into hiding — but the documentary cameras follow him as he makes the drive to Houston and sits high in the NRG Stadium stands at the national championship game, where Michigan emerged victorious. A close-up shot shows Stalions near tears, soaking it all in.
Stalions continues to maintain he never did any advanced scouting and says, “I would do the same thing over again.” He’s now the defensive coordinator, a volunteer job, at Detroit Mumford High School.
As for those rules about sign-stealing: If you watched any of the handful of “Week 0” games on Aug. 24, e.g., Florida State v. Georgia Tech, you saw evidence of the Connor Stalions Effect. The NCAA is now allowing in-helmet communications, effectively making sign-stealing a thing of the past.