We asked members of the BuzzFeed Community to tell us about the worst advice they’ve ever received from a doctor. While the vast majority of healthcare workers are compassionate, determined, hard-working individuals, there are still flaws in the system that must be addressed. Bias, differences of opinion, lack of research, hubris, and many other factors can interfere with a patient’s ability to get proper care, and we must discuss these problems in hopes of helping others receive better care in the future. Here’s what people shared:
Warning: Some responses in this post mention suicide ideation, abuse, eating disorders, and graphic medical descriptions.
1.“My gynecologist suggested I use a tanning bed to treat my seasonal depression. When I asked about the health risks, she replied that it was safer than being dead. I believe she was having trouble grasping suicidal ideation.”
—Anonymous
2.“I told the doctor about the abuse I was going through with my then-boyfriend and his family during my first (and only) pregnancy, and I wanted advice on how to prevent postpartum depression. He dismissed it immediately, saying I wanted attention because it was all on the baby. I reported him, and he called me a week later from a private number, harassing me and saying that I was problematic and that I deserved to be treated horribly by people because I was a ‘lowlife for being a drama queen.’ I called my health insurance, threatened to sue, and I think they fired him. I can’t remember. I still got postpartum (had to be hospitalized), the abuse at home got worse, and now I don’t feel comfortable sharing my feelings, much less even going back to any doctor.”
—Anonymous
3.“When I was a new (single) mom, I was having significant pain in my wrists. I was referred to a physical therapist, who told me the solution was not to hold my baby. I’m a single mom. The baby was two weeks old. Yeah, okay, I won’t hold him?”
—Anonymous
4.“I gave my then-3-year-old cashews for the first time and had to rush them to the ER when their mouth swelled up. Their airway was never blocked, but they still needed meds, and it was obvious they had a previously unknown allergy. I asked the doctor if I needed a referral from him to take my kid to the allergist or if I should go to my pediatrician for a referral. He said, ‘You shouldn’t bother since the next time [your toddler] is exposed, they’ll die, so it won’t matter.’ He said this with full sincerity. The nurses in the room didn’t speak up. My toddler HEARD HIM SAY THIS.”
“I was a 21-year-old single parent just out of an abusive marriage, all alone in the ER at nearly midnight with my sobbing child who was still puffy in the face, and without knowing what else to do, I smiled and nodded and didn’t question the doctor further. Needless to say, I did not take his advice. My pediatrician referred me, and the allergist gave my kid an Epi-pen and a prescription for Benadryl. They both were utterly horrified and disgusted by my story. I wish I could go back in time and take action against that SOB.”
—Anonymous
5.“I (now 41F) went to my doctor (also female) for a yearly physical. We had known each other for 10+ years at this point. I mentioned I had a low libido. She said, ‘Well, you just need to go along with it when sex is initiated, so let’s not worry about that. Just go along with the motions, and it’ll be fine.'”
—Anonymous
6.“I was suffering from insomnia. My doctor told me to try reading the Bible before bed.”
—Anonymous
7.“I had a bad reaction to a birth control implant in my arm. After a week of not eating and feeling nauseous, I contacted my gyno’s emergency line, who suggested I visit the ER as it was after hours (we were leaving for vacation in the morning). The first ER, a small, local one, sent me to a larger ER because they didn’t deal with gynecological medicine and refused to help since they could not contact my doctor. After waiting for hours at the second ER, I was again told that they did not deal with gynecological medicine, but since the implant was in my arm, they might be able to help (as long as they could contact my doctor). After another few hours, a male nurse informed me that they could not help me but that I could watch YouTube videos on how to remove the implant myself!”
“Needless to say, I went home, sterilized a steak knife, and cut out the implant in my kitchen, much to the horror of my husband, who walked in on the scene at 3:00 a.m. When I received a bill for the ER visit, I kindly wrote a letter informing them that they could waive it or be sued. They waived the bill, and my gyno was horrified, but I felt much better and enjoyed my vacation!”
—Anonymous
8.“I was on birth control pills and saw my OB-GYN (a man) for an infection, and he wrote me a prescription for an antibiotic. When I went to the pharmacy to have it filled, the pharmacist (a woman) asked what additional precautions I planned to take to prevent pregnancy for the 14 days I’d be on the pills. Apparently, that particular medication makes hormonal birth control ineffective, a small detail the whole doc couldn’t be bothered to share. I filed a complaint with the medical board and his hospital, but I doubt anything happened. I also had to see three different doctors to get my tubes tied at 33 because I wasn’t married.”
—Anonymous
9.“I have a facial movement disorder that is painful every waking minute. I have been to so many specialists that your head would spin. No diagnosis and no relief. I went to my primary and explained to her how this had ruined my quality of life and even my intimacy with my husband. I said, ‘I am begging you to find someone to help me.’ She pulled up a website and told me to wear a bondage mask to bed and said my husband and I would have the time of our lives! I am not embarrassed about my face. I just can’t get the pain to subside so that I can enjoy anything in my life. Neurologists have dismissed me before, but this really takes the cake.”
—Anonymous
10.“In 1984, I began experiencing urinary frequency with no idea of what was causing it. For five years, I saw multiple physicians, most of them misogynistic, with multiple recommendations, including going to a psychiatrist and also taking Valium. One urologist surmised I had problems in my marriage. I even had our water tested, trying to find answers. Finally, I went to a major hospital in Cleveland. There, I had a uterine biopsy that determined I had a condition called interstitial cystitis. I was happy to know I wasn’t out of my mind and actually had a medical condition. Unfortunately, my experience is not unusual.”
—Anonymous
11.“When I was about 12 weeks pregnant with my second child, I had an episode of moderate bleeding. I called my midwife, and she said nonchalantly that it sounded like I was having a miscarriage. She told me that I could ride it out at home. Because she sounded so confident and I was emotionally fragile with the news, I took her word for it and opted to stay at home where I could be comfortable and around my family. After a couple of weeks of grief (and occasional alcohol, cannabis, and sleep aids to help with coping), I noticed that I still had some symptoms of pregnancy. I got a positive result on a pregnancy test, so I was scheduled for an office visit to determine whether I would need to have a D&C.”
“At the office visit, they performed an ultrasound and discovered my son was very much alive. I had experienced a burst subdural hematoma, not a miscarriage. While I was overjoyed to discover that my son was alive and that I hadn’t seriously jeopardized his health during the time I thought I was no longer pregnant, I’ve never forgiven the midwife for being so cavalier with her medical advice.”
—Anonymous
12.“Since I was 14, I’ve had terrible period cramps with extremely heavy bleeding. It got so bad that I was hurting two or more weeks out of the month and would often pass out from the pain. Bowel movements were so painful, I’d scream. My mother took me to several OB-GYN doctors, but each told me it was ‘part of being a woman.’ Campus doctors in college told me the pain was from anxiety and to calm myself down. When I got married, my new GYN said the only way to relieve the pain was to have a baby every two years! No painkillers, no tests, nothing. At age 34, I was speaking to a professional organization, holding onto the podium to keep from collapsing from pain, and decided then I’d had enough.”
“That afternoon, I drove to my GYN’s office and said I’m not leaving until you find out what’s wrong! That week, he performed a laser laparoscopy. Turns out my organs were glued together with endometrial tissue (on the outside of my uterus)! He was able to burn a lot off, and it helped me. But all those years of unnecessary suffering…why?”
—Anonymous
13.“I was 19 and about 35 pounds overweight. My doctor advised me to lose weight, and I said I was worried because when I tried to diet, I tended to relapse with anorexia (which I was otherwise finally able to control for the most part). Her response? ‘It’s okay. At your size, you can afford to not eat for a while.'”
—Anonymous
14.“I went to a psychiatrist for depression and, after looking at my chart, noticed I lived in a rather wealthy town. He started laughing at me and said, ‘You have money. What’s there to be depressed about?’ He was dead serious.”
—Anonymous
15.“I went to a neurologist after years of horrible headaches. During the initial interview, I told him I smoked marijuana. He cut me off, told me it was illegal (2009 Canada), and refused to ask any further questions or to do any kind of testing. He told me that I needed to reconsider my life choices and stop smoking, or I would get arrested and ruin my life. I ended up having a rotten tooth that, once removed, relieved the headaches. I also ended up graduating from college twice and now happily enjoy my government weed that is 100% legal.”
—Anonymous
16.“I have so many stories as a woman in her 30s with endometriosis, ADHD, and suspected POTS, but this one still takes the cake for me. After I started having unexplainable, high heart rates (160+) from any level of exertion, I had a full cardiac workup done, including a stress test. The cardiologist never found anything and just advised me to ‘walk more, even if it’s scary’ and ‘stress less.’ This was after she observed me during a stress test and saw my heart rate start at 120 when I stood up and spike to 190 after less than five minutes. She felt that it was okay because I could ‘talk through it,’ which meant I was used to it. Her nurses apologized after the doctor left the room. I was sobbing. I never got an ‘official’ answer to what was happening.”
“Instead, I became my own doctor, did my own research, and figured out how to help myself. I’m glad I could figure out some relief for myself, but my heart rate regularly spikes to around 160 from everyday life. These experiences have left an impact. I’m confident I’ll never be able to tell if I’m having an actual heart attack, and I will not think to go to the doctor. In fact, I’m in trauma therapy now partially because I cannot bring myself to go to the doctor because I’m so confident they won’t listen or do anything to help. Thanks, healthcare system! And they wonder why people google their symptoms so much.”
—Anonymous
17.“The doctor first refused to read the email from the doctor who referred me about her concerns. Then, he told me that I looked fine. He said he went by how people looked to him and that nothing was wrong with me. I had my blood drawn and left without making a follow-up appointment. The doctor who sent me got a letter with the results and a diagnosis of hypogammaglobulinemia. I never went back, so I don’t know if I needed treatment or not. I get a lot of upper respiratory infections and have been septic twice since then, but he was so rude and dismissive that I am not going back to him ever.”
—Anonymous
18.“I have a condition known as Complex Regional Pain Syndrome (CRPS). I have pain, swelling, loss of sensation, pain brought on by movement or stress, and so many more things that make life hard. It’s terrible and unpredictable. My left arm is affected, so I can still function. Thank goodness I’m right-handed. My family doctor moved away last year, and when I finally found a new one, during our first appointment, he looked me in the eye and said, ‘You can’t have that; it’s rare.’ I said, ‘I know it’s rare, and yes, I do have it. Two chronic pain specialists and a surgeon said I have it.’ After I was done explaining how it all came to be — the injury, surgeries, rehab, therapies — he told me to do some yoga and not take any pain meds.”
“This is terrible advice. CRPS is a pain condition, and pain meds are part of it. Granted, I do have opioids for when the pain is unbearable, but most of the time, I can get by with anti-inflammatory meds. I reminded him I was actually there because I needed a refill on my ADHD meds, not pain meds. I didn’t end up getting my meds, and he said to try yoga or meditating. I went to a walk-in clinic, and the doctor there took pity on me and filled my prescription. I know we are supposed to be ‘lucky’ to find a doctor taking patients in Canada, but this happens more often than not to me, and I just end up at the walk-in or ER for things.”
—Anonymous
19.“This happened to me just last month. I went to my primary care physician to discuss pelvic pain. The doctor says we should get me looked at as possibly having endometriosis. Absolutely a good call. The problem? The doctor follows up with, ‘You should have a child because that often puts it in remission.’ What?”
—Anonymous
20.“‘You’re too young to have depression.’ I proceeded to fail out of college due to, you guessed it, being bedridden from depression. She also insisted my mother’s metastasized breast cancer was actually just a pinched nerve, and she needed to walk it off, and she’d be fine. Thanks, doc.”
—Anonymous
21.“As a woman, I’ve been treated differently, especially as a woman of childbearing age. At age 20, I was diagnosed with stage-three endometriosis. I had a procedure done to help diagnose a uterine septum (I guess it’s like a D&C) with no pain medication or sedation. I cried the entire time and had to be held down by two nurses. Afterward, I could barely move. My doctor finally sent a prescription in for me when my mom called and chewed them out. At age 23, I had emergency surgery for a massive cyst that had more than doubled in size overnight. Three weeks later, I was in horrible pain again, but on the other side. The surgeon who did my emergency surgery scoffed at me. My primary doctor did an ultrasound and said I had a 7-inch cyst, which hadn’t been present a few weeks earlier during my surgery, and told me to follow up immediately with the surgeon.”
“After doing a horribly uncomfortable internal ultrasound (with nothing for pain or sedation), the surgeon said, ‘It’s not a 7-inch cyst! It’s the size of seven quarters.’ Imagine this being said in the most condescending way as I’m sitting there crying in pain and also upset about more new cysts. That was all on one ovary with zero cysts, not even three weeks prior. Then, when I asked him for a hysterectomy (same visit), he told me no. When pressed, he told me it was because I was still of childbearing age and my husband might want more children. I asked the surgeon, ‘What about my 2-year-old son, who I can’t take off because every single month, new cysts are being discovered, or I’m having surgery and recovering?’
At that point, I’d already had five or six reproductive surgeries. He was insulting and dismissive and told me to deal with it. He wasn’t the only a-hole doctor I dealt with over the years. Even going to the ER the day I needed emergency surgery, I was questioned, probed, doubted, and then put on the ‘fast track’ because the nurse was sure I was exaggerating. Only after the ultrasound did they realize how bad it was and that the cyst had more than doubled in about 16 hours. They set up a mini emergency room in my tiny room, which was meant for patients who could be easily treated and sent home. There were monitors, IVs, and an ultrasound machine moved in so they could monitor it while waiting for the surgeon to get there. A nurse was stationed in my tiny room to push more meds as needed.
I went back to one of my earlier surgeons the following week, who had just opened a new practice specifically for women with reproductive issues (she left OB and was only focusing on GYN), who got me approved for my hysterectomy. I was 23 when it was approved and scheduled and 24 by the time my date of surgery finally arrived a few months later.”
—Anonymous
22.“I came out to my OB-GYN and told her I was a lesbian. She looked shocked and then told me that I didn’t need to get tested for STDs because you only get STDs from men, not women. I sat there completely dumbfounded and instantly went looking for another OB-GYN the following day. I never thought I would hear such a thing from a healthcare professional.”
—Anonymous
23.“I was having a bunch of weird symptoms that affected numerous bodily systems. After doing extensive research, I really suspected that I had Lyme Disease. I went to my primary care doctor, and she ordered the Elisa test, which came back negative. Since I was also having neurological symptoms, she referred me to a neurologist. I had a stiff neck, vibration feelings on my left side, random patches of goosebumps on my leg, a shaky feeling, etc. After explaining all of the symptoms that I was experiencing and that I suspected that I had Lyme Disease, the neurologist told me that it was too soon for me to be having the neurological effects of Lyme Disease and the reason my neck was hurting was because my hair was too long! It was down to my waist, but I had worn it like that for over two decades.”
“I thought the neurologist was a quack and went to see a different doctor. The new doctor ordered a Western Blot test, and guess what? I was positive for Lyme Disease. I took the antibiotics, and all the strange symptoms disappeared.”
—Anonymous
24.“While in the hospital suffering excruciating pain caused by ovarian cysts and endometriosis, a doctor suggested I would feel better if I distracted myself by watching TV. Fortunately, this comment was overheard by the nursing staff, who quietly advised the doctor of how inappropriate their advice was and agreed to my request to ban them from my care. I subsequently had a hysterectomy as the only option left due to the severity of my endometriosis. I was 37 at the time.”
—Anonymous
25.“I was referred to an endocrinologist for some testing to determine why I wasn’t losing weight with healthy eating and exercise. I introduced myself and why I was there and reiterated what I’d put on his form: that I had a history of eating disorders and really needed to avoid restriction. I couldn’t figure out why I couldn’t lose weight in a healthy way. He nodded sagely and said, ‘Have you tried cutting carbs?'”
—Anonymous
26.“I was struggling greatly with depression and anxiety to the point I literally couldn’t do anything other than shower, brush my teeth, and watch TV. Simply getting out of bed was an extraordinary challenge. After explaining this to a psychiatrist, I was told, ‘You just need to follow a routine. Go to the gym. Get yourself to the library.’ DON’T YOU THINK I WOULD IF I COULD?!”
—Anonymous
27.“I was constantly sick because of my tonsils as a teenager (strep throat and tonsillitis). I was sick to my stomach, had a hard time breathing, and always had a sore throat. I missed so much school that my parents got a letter about truancy. I repeatedly complained of these issues to my primary doctor’s office. One person told me teenage girls don’t eat that much, so it was fine. Another told me it was acid reflux and to drink juice (not a good idea if it was actually acid reflux). Eventually, I got a referral to an ENT doctor. She took one look at my throat and said, ‘Oh yeah, those things HAVE to come out.’ I’m so glad we pushed to see a specialist. It’s been 20 years, and my mom and I still joke, ‘Just drink some juice. You’re a teenage girl!’ any time someone’s sick. It’s the worst medical advice I’ve ever received.”
—Anonymous
28.And: “I was 20 years old and experienced severe pain in my right side and green vomit. I went to the emergency room, and the doctor who examined me told me that I needed to see a psychiatrist and sent me away. I laid in bed at my parents’ house and dropped 20 pounds in five days. My parents took me to their doctor, and he took one look at me and said I had a kidney stone. I spent 11 days in the hospital after the surgery, and my dad took the kidney stone down to the ER and asked the doctor who originally examined me, ‘Was this in her head?!'”
—Anonymous
Have you ever received truly awful advice from a healthcare professional? Have you ever had your concerns dismissed, only to end up in an emergency situation later? Tell us your story in the comments or using this anonymous form.
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.