Experts say that if your sex life is less than sizzling, try cleaning up your bedroom.
“Studies show that clutter kills libido. A messy and disorganized space can cause stress, which is not good for our sex life,” sex educator Portia Brown explained to The Guardian.
“You may find yourself thinking, ‘Why haven’t I put away that laundry?’ instead of focusing on pleasure,” she said.
Cam Fraser, a men’s sex coach, told the paper that the bedroom should be “like a little sanctuary,” free from any distraction, messes or stresses.
This way, you and your partner can feel relaxed and ready to be intimate.
How would someone create their sexual sanctuary? As Fraser puts it, take five minutes to declutter before initiating sex.
“if you’ve got dirty clothes on the bed or the washing has to be put away, at least put everything in a cupboard, close its door and make the bed” — and don’t bring your long to-do list into bed.
Experts also told the outlet that there could be another, surprising reason that your sex life may be suffering — too much cuddling.
If one person is a cuddler at all times, but their counterpart is not, it can lead to issues, they said.
The non-cuddler can start to feel smothered. If your partner pulls back from physical affection, including sex, it can lead to feeling more disconnected.
“They end up on this merry-go-round of one person pulling back to try to widen the distance and the other trying to shrink the distance,” Natasha Silverman, a sex and relationships therapist for Relate explained to the outlet.
“It’s a really unhealthy cycle for both people and it can feel very emotionally damaging for the person who needs more connection.”
To avoid turning off your partner, ask them, “Is this OK? Do you like this?” before you initiate the cuddles.
If you notice that your desire to cuddle is causing tension, take a step back and let your partner pursue you.
Silverman noted: “The way we initiate affection is often replicated in the way we initiate sex. So if you can nail this when it comes to cuddles, you can break the cycle when it comes to sex as well.”