Jarren Duran reflects on suspension before rejoining Red Sox

Jarren Duran returned to the Red Sox lineup on Wednesday after serving an unpaid, two-game suspension imposed by the team after the outfielder directed a homophobic slur toward a fan during Sunday’s game at Fenway Park.

Duran, who batted leadoff on Wednesday against the Rangers, addressed the media before the game. 

“I’m still kind of upset at myself and I know there’s a lot of people upset at me,” Duran said, per MassLive’s Christopher Smith. “So I don’t how I’m going to take today. But I’m just going to go out there and just try to focus on some baseball.”

In the sixth inning of Sunday’s game against the Astros, NESN’s cameras caught Duran exchanging words with a heckling fan. NESN’s microphones recorded the fan yelling “Tennis racket!” at Duran.

Duran then turned toward the fan and yelled back, “Shut up you [expletive, expletive].”

The Red Sox went 2-0 during Duran’s suspension. His forfeited salary over Boston’s last two games was donated to PFLAG (Federation of Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays). 

The Red Sox described PFLAG in a statement as the “United States’ largest organization dedicated to supporting, educating, and advocating for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer people and those who love them.”

Duran — who earned his first All-Star nod last month — was asked about whether or not returning to the field will lead to some closure for what stands as a low point in his big-league career. 

“Honestly, I don’t know,” Duran said. “I feel like it will probably be a step in the right direction. But it’s still something I feel terrible about and I’m just gonna work to be better for myself and for everyone around me.”

Even though the Red Sox managed to string together two wins without arguably one of their best players, Duran stressed that the past few days out of the lineup weighed heavily on him as he reflected on his actions. 

“I had to deal with those two days by myself,” Duran acknowledged. “And it was tough.”