Reason stepdaughter asked ‘real’ uncle to walk down aisle backed

Thousands of Reddit users have supported a woman’s decision not to have her stepdad walk her down the aisle.

Racking up 15,000 upvotes in just 24 hours, a post shared by u/beige_donut19 explained that she was widowed just one week after the birth of her daughter, who is referred to as Sarah, now 26. Four years later after a battle with “bad depression,” she met her now husband who goes by the name Robert, now 46.

She wrote: “Even when we were dating, he was very hands-on with my daughter, and it did not take too long for my daughter to call him ‘papa’. Even until we got married and when I got pregnant two years into the marriage and gave birth to twins (M 17 and F 17), he still acted like a father to Sarah.”

Explaining their bond, she states that Sarah was invited to all of her husband’s family events and they were like family. However, at age 18, she started calling him by his first name.

“Both Robert and I were taken aback by the change of attitude she was displaying. I asked Robert what was that about but he only shrugged, not knowing the reason too,” she wrote. It turns out, Sarah had overheard Robert planning a Father’s Day trip without her. When asked about it, he continued to say that it was for his ‘real children only’.

“This made Sarah feel betrayed and hurt because she saw him as her real dad even if she knew he was her stepdad,” she wrote. “My husband tried to explain to her that though he loves her as a father, his love for the twins was different since they were his real children.”

Following this conversation, Sarah swept it under the carpet and for years, acting as normal but continued to call him Robert. However, more recently, she got engaged and told her mom that Robert lost the right to walk her down the aisle.

She said: “My daughter scoffed at me when I told her about Robert walking her down the aisle. She said ‘I thought it was obvious that Uncle Greg (my late husband’s brother) would be the one to do that? Besides, I’m not his real daughter. It wouldn’t make sense if he walked me down the aisle.‘ I did not talk back, instead apologized for my ignorance and told her that I’d speak with Robert about it since he also assumed he’d be the one to walk her down the aisle. When I told him what Sarah said, he was pissed. But I politely reminded him of the incident years ago which made him even more upset. He said that it was a long time ago and that Sarah should move on.”

It has been one week since the wedding and Robert is “still upset” and refuses to speak to the mom unless it is about their children or household stuff.

What Did the Expert Say?

It may be traditional for brides to walk down the aisle with their dads, but it is 2024 and times are changing. Newsweek spoke to wedding expert Zoe Burke about the post, she said: “It’s a very archaic approach, and doesn’t reflect how the tradition has changed today. Now it is a special moment between the nearlywed and the person they choose to accompany them—I see it as an act of recognition for the role they’ve played in their life.”

The editor of Hitched.co.uk told Newsweek: “Family dynamics can vary so much—I’ve seen people walk as a couple, with their mum or even with members of their wedding party, as well as alone.”

Reddit Reacts

So far, the July 18 post has received a sea of support with 3,700 comments. The top one alone has 5,400 upvotes.

An extract from it said: “He will hurt his relationship with you if he doesn’t man up and take responsibility. He could have been doing his best to repair the damage his cruel comment made, but didn’t bother. So of course Sarah assumes nothing has changed. He is not the wronged person here. She is.”

“He LITERALLY ASKED for it,” said another user.

“Exactly, he needs to face the consequences of his hurtful words. Sarah’s response is understandable, and holding him accountable is important,” said a third commenter.

Newsweek reached out to u/beige_donut19 for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.

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