The pinstriped suit(s) who decided it is a swell idea to anoint Craig Carton as the Yankees radio play-by-play man for the Aug. 9-11 series with the Texas Rangers did not factor the Bombers’ storied broadcast history into their decision.
Depositing Carton, 55, whose resume includes minimal baseball play-by-play and maximum sports-shock-jock experience, in the booth does not exactly fit the Yankees’ buttoned-up image.
And Carton, who currently hosts his own morning sports show on FS1, is not going to remind anyone of Hall of Fame Yankee broadcast icons like Mel Allen and Red Barber, although he may have some John Sterling in him.
It’s a desperate move. Besides, this personality-driven, attention-grabbing idea is totally un-Yankee-like.
And it could create memories that Yankee brass (like prez Randy Levine or COO Lonn Trost) will want to forget. Face it: This is a disaster waiting to happen.
Does it suggest someone in the front office thinks that during the dog days of August, the inconsistent on-field product needs a triple-shot of Carton’s unpredictability to entice ear drums to the radio?
Unless the powers that be are delusional, they also realize their decision to bring Carton into the Bombers radio booth (even if it’s just for a three-game set) isn’t exactly akin to serenading veteran Yankee radio analyst Suzyn Waldman with “R-E-S-P-E-C-T,” the Aretha Franklin classic.
As a WFAN morning-drive mouth working with Norman Julius Esiason, Carton spent a decade delivering unflattering (that’s being kind) impersonations of Waldman. He gleefully turned Waldman, 77, into his personal pin cushion.
It did not matter to Carton if his quest for laughs at Waldman’s expense included sexist or misogynist material. It was all supposed to be done for comedy’s sake; a classic case of the end, aka healthy ratings, justifying the means, no matter how twisted or hurtful.
Now Waldman is supposed to forgive and forget about all Carton’s tormenting? Not only that, but she, for the good of the broadcast, is supposed to strike an entertaining chemical balance with Carton? That’s a lot to ask.
Unless the objective is to produce baseball on the radio’s version of a wreck by the side of the road. Or having the chemistry set explode sometime after the seventh-inning stretch.
Seriously though, besides the normal back-and-forth conversation surrounding the game, what will the chatter between the two voices be like?
Will Carton ask Waldman what she thought his “funniest” or most “disgusting” impression of her was? Will Waldman even respond to this type inquiry? Or will circumstances of the game have Waldman mostly filling in the blanks of Carton’s descriptions like she did for Sterling, her partner for 20 years, who surprisingly retired in April.
Since he split, Sterling’s replacements, Justin Shackil and Emmanuel Barbari, have delivered traditional, shtick-free broadcasts. It’s doubtful Carton will follow the same blueprint.
This is all about blowing up the cookie cutter. At a time when the search is on for more-more-more “original” content, maybe the Yankees are simply conducting an experiment to hear what this Odd Couple of Carton/Waldman can deliver.
If Waldman ultimately (and probably reluctantly) decides to go through with this three-game trial run with Carton and gets through it, she should be rewarded.
The same Yankee suits pairing her and Carton in the booth should be pushing for Waldman to be considered for Baseball Hall of Fame’s Ford C. Frick Award, given each year to a broadcaster who has made “major contributions to baseball.”
For surviving a three-game series working with Carton should qualify as a “major contribution to baseball,” right?
SUZYN SIDEKICKS
As long as Yankees brass is doling out invites to join Waldman in the WFAN radio booth, here’s a couple of voices to consider.
The man who invented Yankees baseball, Mike (Sports Pope) Francesa should get a call. Unlike Carton, he’s pals with Waldman. The duo would be highly entertaining.
Dave Sims, the TV voice of the Mariners, N.Y. cat, and former FAN talkie, should do a cameo appearance with Waldman when the Yanks are in Seattle from September 17-19.
GIANT REVELATIONS
For an organization that wanted nothing to do with HBO, the Giants are providing plenty of compelling material in the network’s offseason “Hard Knocks.”
It looked like hardly anything from the story of Saquon Barkley jumping to Philly was left on the cutting room floor. The brief observations by John Mara revealed how much he liked, and wanted to keep, the running back.
Nonetheless, GM Joe Schoen (he likes to put his feet up on the desk) showed Mara that in his world, there is no room for sentimental decisions.
During a “dead” period of the sports summer, Gasbags have leaned on the offseason “Hard Knocks” for material.
AROUND THE DIAL
When it comes to NFL studio shows, The CW network scored big in acquiring the services of Bill Belichick for its “Inside The NFL” program, which will now air on Friday nights. This will make “Inside The NFL” more of a preview show than a look back at last Sunday’s games. Wonder if Belichick will make game picks? … Still trying to figure out why FAN’s Evan Roberts gets so upset over Mets fans not showing up to games at Citi Field. Maybe it has something to do with the economy. Or maybe Roberts owns a small piece of the Mets. Why else would he be so concerned with Steve Cohen’s ticket revenue? … A return to sports talk sanity is the only way to describe Marc Malusis filling in for Brandon Tierney and Sal Licata on FAN last week.
DUDE OF THE WEEK: DAN PATRICK
For springing a surprise. That’s what the veteran talkie did when he recently had Pirates rookie pitcher Paul Skenes on his show. During the live interview, Skenes found out he would be starting in the All-Star Game. Good stuff.
DWEEB OF THE WEEK: MIKE GUNDY
The Oklahoma State football coach has a cockeyed way of “punishing” running back Ollie Gordon II after he was arrested for suspicion of driving under the influence. Gundy said he would have to do what’s best for the team. That meant Gordon’s “punishment” would be carrying the ball 50 times in the season opener.
DOUBLE TALK
What Isaiah Hartenstein said: “I was going to make sure I was set for the rest of my life.”
What Isaiah Hartenstein meant to say: “More money changes more everything.”