Jimmy Kimmel sprang into action after jurors in Donald Trump’s criminal case came back with a verdict after 4:30 p.m. on Thursday, crafting a new monologue for the occasion in a crunch. Writers for “Jimmy Kimmel Live!,” which shoots at 5 p.m. Pacific Time on the day of broadcast, had just three hours to nail down new material, but they pulled it off.
“We had to re-write the whole monologue. It was a mess,” Kimmel joked. “It was a big afternoon in New York and for the United States of America.”
“We have a verdict in the case of the people vs. O. J., I mean, D.J. Donald John Trump is guilty of 34 felony charges. After seven long weeks the courtroom is empty and Donald Trump‘s diaper is full,” the host said, poking at rumors that the convict spent his 7-week stint in Manhattan Criminal Court passing gas.
Enlisting comedian and frequent on-air talent Guillermo, Kimmel re-enacted the moment when the foreman delivered the decision on all 34 counts–guilty.
“You do have to hand it to him: no president has ever been convicted more than Donald Trump! How long until he starts bragging about this?” Kimmel said.
Reading out a tweet from “stupid Eric” that read, “May 30, 2024 might be remembered as the day Donald J. Trump won the 2024 election,” Kimmel joked that it may be alternatively remembered as “the day a jury in New York spanked your dad even harder than Stormy did with that Forbes magazine.”
The comedian and the former president have a history of criticizing each other, with Kimmel’s comments on Truth Social’s tumbling stock prices getting deep enough under Trump’s skin in April to warrant a rant on the platform.
“Stupid Jimmy Kimmel,” he wrote.
But it wasn’t just Trump who earned a jab from the host.
“We should automatically make those jurors the new Supreme Court,” Kimmel said of the 12 unbiased jury members, who at the very least displayed fewer signs of treasonous affiliation than some of the nine members of the top Court.
Watch the full monologue here: