They trash-talk my state even as guests in my home

US

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My family grew up in a lovely area. I still live here, while my brother and sister-in-law have moved out of state.

My brother occasionally reaches out to ask if they can stay with me for a weekend to attend events and visit family and friends.

I love having company, and welcome visitors whenever I can. But since moving away, my brother and his wife have taken to making negative comments to me about the state in which we all grew up — about our governor, the traffic, the high cost of living, the weather, you name it — all while staying in my house!

I am not sure how to respond to these comments. Do I tell my brother ahead of the next visit that he is welcome, but ask him to leave the negative comments at home? Do I decline his request and suggest they choose another sibling with whom to stay? Do I just smile and tell them I’m so happy they have found a much better place for themselves?

I get stressed just thinking about the next visit.

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