Therapist slammed for saying ‘lonely’ men need to ‘step up’ in dating

US

Dating opportunities for heterosexual men are diminishing as relationship standards rise, a new report has claimed.

Couples psychologist Dr. Greg Matos penned a piece titled “The Rise of Lonely, Single Men” in which he argues “men need to address their [relationship] skills deficits” as women are becoming “increasingly selective”.

“I hear recurring dating themes from women between the ages of 25 and 45,” he wrote in the piece published by Psychology Today.

“They prefer men who are emotionally available, good communicators, and share similar values.”

Matos said there were three reasons men were having trouble finding partners, citing the rising use of dating apps, increasing relationship standards and failure by guys to “step up”.

“This relationship skills gap that, if not addressed, will likely lead to fewer dating opportunities, less patience for poor communication skills, and longer periods of being single,” he wrote. “The problem for men is that emotional connection is the lifeblood of healthy, long-term love.”

Greg Matos penned a piece titled “The Rise of Lonely, Single Men” in which he argues “men need to address their [relationship] skills deficits.”
TikTok/DrMatos

The report was intended to highlight a growing problem identified in a 2020 study that found loneliness is greater in men than in women – but it quickly sparked a pile on.

Within hours there were thousands of posts on the topic shared on Twitter and TikTok.

But while women aren’t shocked – they have been complaining about “how low the bar is set” for years – many men are outraged, arguing women are “too picky” and have “double standards”.

The number of lonely single men is on the rise according to a recent study. Things like dating apps and poor relationship skills could be to blame, said Greg Matos.
The number of lonely single men is on the rise according to a recent study. Things like dating apps and poor relationship skills could be to blame, said Greg Matos.
Getty Images

Matos later took to TikTok to reveal he was receiving “hate mail from men” as a result of his article, which also cites a recent Pew Research study that found men are now “more likely than women to be unpartnered, which wasn’t the case 30 years ago”.

“Why? When all I am doing is asking you to be the best version of yourself. That’s all,” he said. “All I am inviting you to do is just be the best version of yourself.”

However, women were far less shocked by Matos’ findings, with many praising the article for “validating” what women in the dating scene have been expressing.

“Men would rather die alone than just be good people,” one Twitter user wrote.

Matos said women prefer: "Men who are emotionally available, good communicators, and share similar values.”
Matos said women prefer: “Men who are emotionally available, good communicators, and share similar values.”
TikTok

“The bar for straight men is the literal ground and they will still tunnel underneath it,” another commented.

While one remarked: “I guess the bare minimum and misogyny isn’t working out?”

But while it appears men are lashing out after being called out for their sub par behaviors, Matos said there is hope.

“Men have a key role in this transformation but only if they go all-in. It’s going to take that kind of commitment to themselves, to their own mental health, to the kind of love they want to generate in this world,” he wrote, before adding: “Will we step up?”

Matos got hate mail from men after he attempted to give them dating advice.
Matos got hate mail from men after he attempted to give them dating advice.
TikTok/DrMatos

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