I’ve been blogging now for 17 years. That’s amazing to me. At the same time, those 17 years seem to have flown by, but also, our time in our little condo seems like a lifetime ago. But no matter where we’ve lived, or what projects I was working on and blogging about, I’ve always had two main goals with my blog — two major lessons I hoped to drill into people’s heads. The first is that I want to encourage people (but my heart has mainly been for women) to reallize that they are capable. You can use tools. You can build things. You can do it yourself. You don’t have to rely on others to build or repair that thing for you. You are capable and strong, and you can learn how to do hard things. My main goal has been to demonstrate a life of learning, trial and error, growing through failures, and getting things done by myself.
But my second goal has been to encourage people in this…
Make your home yours, regardless of what other people say.
Yesterday, I was scrolling Facebook and came across a reel of a woman painting and wallpapering her half bathroom (i.e., a powder bathroom with a sink and a toilet only). The “before” bathroom was nice, but it was also pretty unremarkable. It had white tile wainscoting, teal walls above the wainscoting, white crown molding, and a white ceiling. She painted the tile wainscoting (yes, you can paint tile!), the crown molding, and the ceiling a dark blue, and then above the tile wainscoting, she put up wallpaper with a floral print in dark blue, pinks, and green.
Did I love the after? I thought it was very nice. It went from generic and builder-grade to looking more like something a designer had envisioned. It definitely looked like more thought and care and attention had gone into the “new” bathroom than had gone into the rather plain and simple “before” bathroom. But no, I didn’t love it. It just wasn’t my style, which is perfectly fine because it’s not my bathroom and it wasn’t decorated for me. She, the owner, loves her “new” bathroom, and that’s the only thing that matters.
But, y’all. The comments. THE COMMENTS were brutal. Some were scathing, and this amount of vitriol was being expressed over a bathroom in a stranger’s home that these commenters will never see in person and that has no impact on their lives at all. I would have been in tears, quite honestly. Over 17 years of blogging, I’ve developed quite a thick skin (definitely much thicker than when I began), but I can only deal with so much negativity before it really affects my mood and mindset. (Which is why I don’t let people run roughshod over me on my blog or my social media. You come at me with rudeness and snark, you’ll either get a heaping dose right back, or your comment will be deleted. People will treat you how you allow them to treat you.)
But the mean and rude comments to her about her bathroom seemed to be innumerable. I read a lot of them, and I found myself getting upset on her behalf. I was reminded of that Mike Tyson quote (I don’t know if it’s real or not because I haven’t cared enough to fact check it, but I see the meme often and it makes me laugh) that goes something like this: “Social media made y’all way too comfortable with disrespecting people and not getting punched in the face for it.” 😀 That cracks me up every time I see it, and I also agree 100%. It’s so easy to treat people horribly online, and say things that most of us would never have the guts to say to a flesh-and-blood person standing right in front of us. That’s really a whole different topic, though.
But the comments that drove me the craziest were the ones about how she had “devalued” her home because of how she decorated her bathroom. To me, that’s just such insanity. Creating a room she loved had obviously increased its value in her mind. She would now get so much more enjoyment out of it. She would love showing it off to friends. She would feel a sense of pride each time she walked by it and saw what she had accomplished with her own hands There’s tremendous value in that!
The comment that drove me the craziest was the one where the person said, “Whoever gets the house after you is going to be cursing you to no end.” What? The owner had already said in that comment thread that she wasn’t planning on selling, but all this commenter could think about was what the next owner would think about it. Why? WHY? WHY??? Why are some people so unbelievably obsessed with what some potential unknown future owner may think about the house?
Again, I’ve said this a thousand times, but obviously if you’ve bought a house knowing that your stay in that house is short-term (maybe you have a short-term contract job and then you’re on to the next one in another city or state), then yes, you want to be mindful of the changes you make because you’re going to want to sell the house soon and you want it to appeal to the general market.
But for those of us who have absolutely no intention of selling, it doesn’t make any sense to have to keep in mind some potential future buyer. I will always, always, ALWAYS decorate my house for me. (And only for me, because Matt generally doesn’t care, which makes my life easier. 😀 ) Matt and I are the ones who paid for this house. We’re the ones who own the house. We’re the ones who live in the house. I’m the one who has poured my blood, sweat, and tears into the work to make this house our home.
Anyone who thinks I’m going to give a care in the world what some potential, unknown, future owner thinks about any of my decisions is delusional. And I think that’s how every long-term home owner should feel. When that unknown future owner gets their hands on this house and pays the mortgage for it, they can do what they want with it, but not a moment before. Until that time, this is my house, my home, my refuge from a harsh and chaotic world, my playground, my canvas. I don’t ever expect or require blog readers or real life visitors to my home to love my home like I do, but I do hope that people respect the fact that I love what I’m doing and what I’ve done, and to understand that it perfectly suits me and my personality. I also hope that people can at least be encouraged by my processes and projects, and to see my determination and be motivated to make their home exactly what they want it to be for them, and not for strangers.
Addicted 2 Decorating is where I share my DIY and decorating journey as I remodel and decorate the 1948 fixer upper that my husband, Matt, and I bought in 2013. Matt has M.S. and is unable to do physical work, so I do the majority of the work on the house by myself. You can learn more about me here.